Monday, December 02, 2013

Relationship Exit Ramps

Take a minute and examine your relationship status. 

Now get used to it. (If you're in the US, that is. If you're not, we'll have this conversation again in a couple weeks.) With Thanksgiving over and Hanukkah in full swing, we are in Winter Holiday Season. Winter holidays are a minefield for relationships. There's family, presents, and so many social engagements. Movies teach us that snow falling is the perfect opportunity for romance. (Have I mentioned that the Hallmark Channel is showing Christmas movies 24/7?) 

After Christmas, it's New Year's and Valentine's Day. We're in Winter Holiday Season until St. Patrick's Day finally shows up. Right now? Your relationship is in a holding pattern.** If you're dating someone and it's even fairly serious, consider yourself in that until late February. If you've been harboring thoughts of ending it, you missed your chance--there are no exit ramps on Relationship Highway between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day. What, are you going to leave him single for Christmas, with his whole family asking where you are? Presents with your name on them left under the tree? Or will he have to lie about you; tell his family you got called in to work and yeah, it IS really shitty? Are you going to wait until after Christmas but leave her scrambling for midnight plans on December 31st? And you're definitely not going to be the guy who breaks up with her before Valentine's Day, "the most romantic holiday". (Try really hard not to be that guy.) There is no good way to end something at this time of year. (Unless you're a douche, and then it's always breakup season, because you're a terrible human being.) The only way your relationship can change is to get MORE serious. More committed. It's proposal season, guys. So unless moving in together was part of your holiday plan, you're just trying to maintain the status quo until the snow has melted. 

If you're single, this isn't a great season for you either. I mean, how many people want to go on a blind date just in time to find you a Christmas present? And risk getting invited to your office holiday party? It's a high-pressure time for dating. I was supposed to go on a blind date the week before Christmas and he asked if we could reschedule. That was 2010. And see, ANOTHER holiday season has arrived and now he'll have to wait--AGAIN. He'll call this spring, maybe. No pressure. You guys think he'll call, right? He's supposed to be really cute. He'll probably call as soon as the date holidays settle down. I'm not worried.

Where were we? Oh yeah. Relationship Highway. No exit ramps. Late February. Except all the engagements that I may or may not be unfortunately anticipating. 

**Casual relationships, where both parties are aware that it's casual, have a less strict set of rules. 

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