More Questions for Couples...

Hey couples, I have another question for you. If you're not too busy making out with each other and sharing headphones in public, acting like that doesn't bother anybody. 

Facebook has options for you. You have the choice to link to each other's pages, telling the world who you're dating. (Or married to, or involved in some undefined situation with, or whatever. Options!) And you can choose to make that super public if you want. (Unless you're my ex, in which case it'll be hidden from the world. Options.) But you can announce it! LOOK EVERYBODY AT THIS PERSON I GET TO BANG. (Or not bang, because sometimes people wait or opt out of that. OPTIONS.) 

With all these choices afforded to you by social media, why oh why oh why are some of you creating joint facebook pages? 

You heard me. Joint facebook accounts. Like a joint checking account, but for your birthday greetings. This is apparently not an isolated incident that I've witnessed, but rather a fairly common occurrence. Bitter Amanda and Ryan Gosling start dating and then after things get serious, Bitter Amanda and Ryan Gosling delete their facebook pages and create the brand new RyanandBitter Gosling facebook page. Because they're so connected that they can't deal with a separate identity on the internet anymore. WE'RE A COUPLE. Birthdays? Nope, we have an anniversary now. We'll sign our initials by posts that come from one of us, but let's be honest--we agree on everything now so it doesn't matter. 

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? If Ryan Gosling thinks I'm deleting my facebook for him, he is dead wrong. I have different interests and favorites, Ryan. You'll have to deal with that. 

Couple Stuff I Don't Understand (Part One)

I have a serious question for couples out there. (Yes, current couples only. It doesn't count if you used to be in a relationship, because if you were any good at it you'd still be in one. Your opinion doesn't count right now.) (Don't take that so personally--I have to include myself in there. Which is why I'm asking for opinions.) (Stop distracting me from the task at hand.)

So, couples. Sometimes when you go out to eat, you end up being seated at a booth. Very few booths are meant for two people, so they're often bigger. Four seats for two people. It's an embarrassment of riches, to be able to choose your seat from so many options! 

So why do you choose to sit on the same side?!? It's ridiculous. You look ridiculous. How do you talk to each other? Unless you're at Buffalo Wild Wings trying to watch the game and you're facing the same television and don't intend to talk to each other, then how do you chat during dinner? Why crane your neck the whole time? There's a perfectly good bench on the other side! 

On top of that, I immediately become suspicious of where your hands are. Are you being sketchy over Thai food? I'm trying to eat here--I WILL call a hand check if I have to. You're gross. 

So, couples--what's the deal?