Saturday, January 14, 2012

Not really a role model.

Early last week, we received a staff email about an animal assembly scheduled for Friday. I had no idea what that would entail, but dutifully scheduled it into my plans and got my class sufficiently enthused. (One of the beautiful parts about teaching 2nd grade is that you don't have to know what's going on, as long as you bill things as a "special surprise!") I could only assume we would be seeing and/or learning about some animals. I was admittedly uneasy, thinking it might include...some certain species which are neither cute nor cuddly. But come 9am, off we went! We filed into the gym, where the kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grades were gathering. My class was last into the room and sat in the back of the group. I eyed the display warily, taking in the cages and containers concealed by cloth. Coffee cup in hand, I told my kids they would love it. 
Our presenter was wonderful. He did a fantastic job with our students the entire time. They LOVED it. After telling us about himself, the presenter started to talk about what he brought with him. When he said, "I did not bring any spiders with me," I took note of his tone. I started to work it out in my head...and on instinct alone, I started my way toward the door. Quickly. I was almost there when he called me out. Our kids turned and saw me and we all had a laugh. The presenter smiled and reassured us that no one would get hurt and he would not make me come any closer. He also noted that I had figured out what was coming. 
And then he brought out a tarantula. A tarantula that filled his hand. HIS HAND, you guys. Once he announced that what he brought was NOT a spider, I immediately decided that he would choose to talk about arachnids vs. spiders, and my brain went to tarantula. Caught in the act, I walked back to my class. And we were fine. I mean, I wasn't really looking that closely. But we were fine! Until he started addressing a question about tarantulas jumping. He asked my name and said I was going to help him demonstrate how far they could jump. I admit, I froze. He told me to stay in the back of the crowd and hold out my hands. I remained frozen. One of my students caught my eye and said, "You can just try!" That was too cute and encouraging and I resigned myself to my fate. I assumed it would all be ok and I trusted him, but still...stuck in the moment and all. He told me to put my coffee cup down. "You're a role model!" he laughed. Ok. Just try. Role model. Role model. Coffee cup down. Hands out. Brave face. 
FUN FACT: Tarantulas can't jump! It was a teaching thing, guys. He held onto her the whole time and I remain a tarantula holding virgin. (Which I am totally comfortable with and shall remain until the end of my days.) 
We had fun. We saw a snake (also not that exciting for me, but the kids loved it) and then some seriously cool things I'd never seen. The BEST part was the fennec fox. I was smitten. 
FUN FACT 2: Foxes are my power animal. It's a long story. 
My class honestly had an amazing time and we talked about animals (and my hesitance toward arachnids) for a good part of the afternoon. Go ahead, tell me you have a cooler job. 

Well...except the tarantulas. BUT BESIDES THAT, I have the best job. 

Sunday, January 08, 2012


READERS, THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION I'VE ASKED IN DAYS. (Ok, not really. But don't you feel a sense of purpose when you read that? Go ahead, read it again. Powerful, huh?)

...Which Star Wars t-shirt do you like better?

Don't make the wrong choice. NO PRESSURE.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Since the world is ending anyway...

Inspired by my friend Kevin, I've decided that setting some resolutions for the new year wouldn't be the worst thing I could do. Since I'm at my best when other people are watching and ready to make me feel inadequate in the case of my failure, I'll let you read them! Feel free to mock me openly when I don't accomplish these, ok? 

1. I am going to stay on top of my inbox. This seemed like a trite resolution until I spent almost an hour clearing out my various email accounts a few days ago. (Do you realize how many sales I missed at Bath and Body Works?) So this year, I will not let things pile up. Not even my yahoo account that I reserve for newsletters, online shopping, and people I don't like. 
2. Get really and truly started on my master's degree. Not in a flirting way like I've been doing, but we're going to get serious. I'm going to tell facebook about our relationship and everything. 
3. I am going to be 100% more vigilant about zipping up my pants. I'm not kidding here, there were two days last month where I repeatedly discovered that my zipper was down, INCLUDING A TIME I REALIZED THAT I TAUGHT THE WHOLE MORNING IN THAT STATE. Not that my class would have noticed--I regularly have to tell kids to rebutton wonky shirts and switch their shoes to the correct feet--but it's not a good feeling. 
4. I am going to get back to the workout routine that I liked best/worked best for me. I've let it fall away and since we know I need to be concerned about the size of my ass, I need to get back on it. Ask me how it's going, Internet. Not right this second, because clearly I'm writing a blog post...I mean periodically throughout the year. Like, whenever you're thinking about me (I know you do). On a similar note, if you have any music suggestions that motivate you, let me know. I'm always looking for recommendations. 

You will notice nothing about men here. I am purposefully omitting this aspect of my life from resolution. I have enough weirdos, married men, men in other relationships, and emotionally wounded men in my life--I can't handle more. 
Here's to a decent 2012, readers!