Sunday, April 19, 2009

Roughing It

"Does that sound alright, miss?"

That's actually what tech support asks you when they tell you your laptop will have to be sent in. And that it will take 7-9 business days because you've baffled the team with your problem. They go through a bunch of troubleshooting until they break the bad news that you'll have to part with it; you just can't fix it on your own. Then they ask if that's ok.

No. No, it is not ok. 7-9 BUSINESS DAYS? I must have a laptop time machine and it's 1998 all over again to be going over a week without my laptop.** (Would you like a list of my favorite AOL keywords? Time to troll Hanson websites for new pictures, I guess! Meet me on AIM to discuss the finer points of Leonardo DiCaprio, ok?) Saying "no, as a matter of fact, 7-9 days is unacceptable" won't actually change the facts. It's really more of a gesture. It'll take as long as they need in order to fix my laptop. I'll be excited about it regardless of the time.

The laptop has been sick since Friday night, the poor thing. I've been checking my email on my family's desktop, so it's tolerable. The first solution was a new cord, which arrived today. I figured, hey, I can make it until Wednesday! But then..the replacement cord didn't breathe new life into my friend. That was when I got the news.

I resisted. I glanced at my first laptop, 8 years old. Ancient and sad, I still have it because I recently realized a bunch of music never made it to my new laptop. But it's pathetic, so I only gave it a fleeting look. Until I heard the fateful words "seven to nine business days."

So here I sit, fingers crossed that my dinosaur friend here can handle all this activity. All so I could log on to twitter. This, my friends, is a new low.

Regular letters and blog posts will be sporadic at best until I get things sorted. In the meantime, I'm keeping a list of things I meant to tweet. Get excited!!

**I didn't get a laptop until 2002 when I went to college. Coincidentally that very laptop happens to be the one I'm typing on right now.

The ponytail should have been a clue...

A couple days ago, I was walking around Barnes and Noble. I walked past a group of armchairs, where a middle-aged man, a girl of maybe 11, and a single** man roughly my age sat with books. The middle-aged man, presumably the girl's father, was reading, and the girl had a copy of Twilight poised to read, but was being interrupted. By Ponytail, her new friend in the other chair. This ass was trying to tell her why Twilight is ridiculous. (Are you kidding me??) He was going on and on and on about what a travesty it is that Twilight doesn't explain vampire mythology. And does it even explain why they like blood?? No, it doesn't. Do you know why, he asked the girl? " tastes good?" Oh, wrong answer! Then he was off and running. She was getting a History of Vampires with a side helping of Edward Cullen Belittling. I sort of wandered around in earshot, trying frantically to think of a plan to get her out that didn't look like...well, a Plan to Get Her Out. You know. Of the sketchy "I drive a van" variety. I heard him say something about Vlad the Impaler and she caught my eye. I tried to smile reassuringly, but I feel certain it did little to alleviate her pain. OH AND THEN. He turned around to rail on the movie. And dragged Dad into the conversation. It was revealed to me that Ponytail but No Shampoo didn't see the movie, but "read some reviews." Which clearly meant he knew what he was talking about.
I could not think of a way to stop the madness. I wanted to tell him that she was a kid. And reading. Do you know how hard it is to get some kids to read?? If they'll read the adventures of Edward Cullen, Dreamy Vampire Boyfriend, then by all means hand them a freaking copy! When Harry Potter came out, it got kids reading. It was a gateway book. They finished that book and picked up more! If Twilight stands to be the predecessor for that, I'm all for it.

**I didn't ask for confirmation, of course. But I feel confident about this one.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

No way.

One of my first graders walked into the classroom and handed me an orange. "I brought this for you."

Did anyone know that students legitimately bring fruit to their teachers?? I was astonished. How cute is that?