Monday, December 16, 2013

Public Service Announcement: First Impressions

If I'm at a bar and you want to meet me, "Hi, I don't think we've met," is a perfectly fine line. I mean, it's definitely a line because we definitely have not met--but you need something to open with, right? So sure, that's a fine start. 

You know what isn't a fine start? When you're standing outside in the snow smoking a cigarette and talking to the bouncer and try to snag my arm as I dash outside on the phone to take a call, and then deliver your line. Do I look like I'm comfortable right now? It's snowing and I left my jacket inside. I'm trying to make this quick. I'm on the phone--I'm not saying I'm about to make a call. I'm saying the phone is at my ear and words are coming out of my mouth. Don't try to grab me, because that doesn't start a conversation--that starts my fight or flight instincts. And then really, really don't stand there and wait for me finish my call. That's not cute. That's creepy and intimidating. We're basically alone and I don't know you and have I mentioned that I'm actively having a conversation? You can't wait until I go back inside? Really?  

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