Wednesday, November 26, 2008


At the movies tonight, I heard "a brand new song." Hey, the background sounds like Journey. Because "the Chipmunks are back with a new album." The cartoon chipmunks? As in Alvin, Simon, and Theodore? How can they have a new album? And Journey started playing. And as I wait to hear the familiar intro about a small-town girl, I realize that the Chipmunks are about to sing a cover of a Journey song.

True story.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Good beat, though.

Hey, Lady Gaga...

Heard your song today. And man, it sounds like you are having a great freaking time! Nothing like being out with some friends and hearing Your Song. It does make things seem better.

But, um...I'd like to respectfully disagree with your statement that it's "gonna be ok" if you just dance. Nothing wrong with dancing! This isn't Footloose or anything. But if you look at all the parts of your night, you're actually having what most people consider to be a pretty terrible night. Maybe you forgot. Allow me?

You can't remember where you are. Or where your keys are. Or your wallet. You can't see straight. And something about your top being inside out?

One of those, and you can still have a good time. Stuff happens! Come tomorrow, unfortunately, you're going to sound like a silly high school girl who partied this weekend once you start to hear about your night from bystanders. You know, the girls who get drunk and do things which are rather embarrassing and quite stupid, but insist that oh my god, they totally had a great time and wasn't that hilarious? Oh my god, I can't believe it!

There are certain things that dancing can't fix.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


To the guy who showed up at my door on Monday night:

Oh, hey, you're not someone I was expecting. I see you're holding a rake?

So, you're jetting off to New York and are trying to make some extra cash? That's cool...but do you think you're going about it the right way? I was a Monday. And yes, leaves do fall on a Monday. But I had all weekend to rake them up! Don't you think Thursday or Friday, when I've been at work all week and haven't considered the lawn, would be a better day?

Also, you're not as attractive or charming as your manner suggests you believe. Just FYI.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Let's end the madness.

Hey, radio...

You know that Kid Rock song about summertime? The one that came out this summer? The one you played all summer long, because everyone was requesting it?

Um, it's fall. Can you stop playing it?

Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Monumental night.

Tonight was a good night for this country.

Because over 100 million Americans went out and voted today. Because John McCain gave a gracious speech in the face of defeat. Because when his supporters booed at the mention of Barack Obama, Senator McCain encouraged them to stop, even though he probably felt a little bit like joining in. Because Barack Obama reminded everyone that his daughters earned a puppy from this campaign, win or lose. Because on Monday, I got to talk to 4th and 5th graders about the importance of voting. Because they were shocked to learn that some adults are allowed to vote but don't. Because both McCain and Obama reminded us that no matter who we voted for, we are one nation and no matter who is in the Oval Office, we are STILL one nation.

And they were both right.

Monday, November 03, 2008


Tuesday, November 4th. Ring a bell?

Sure, it's a big day. Let's's Flag Day in Panama. It's Matthew McConaughey's birthday. The Twilight soundtrack CD is being released.

No? None of those? Hmmm..

OH RIGHT. It's Election Day! Go vote.

Seriously, go vote--I don't care who you vote for--and don't come back until you do!