Friday, September 25, 2009

Not annoying at all.

You would think that running around roaring loudly like a dinosaur for twenty minutes would wear someone out.

Kindergarten Recess Survey says: Nope. You would be wrong. Roaring and running can easily be sustained for that length of time.**

**+/- the length of time it takes to tie shoes.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Of course you do.

Hello, readers.

Do you like art? Do you support the pursuit of individual creativity and self-expression? Do you like the idea of voting for your favorites in something but dislike sitting through American Idol to do so?

Yes? You should check out ArtPrize, an international, privately-funded art competition. It opened today all over Grand Rapids. If you live near Grand Rapids, Michigan, you should check it out in person! Doing that lets you vote! (Why do we only stress the importance of that in November? Voting is always good.) There are venues displaying work all over the city. I can personally recommend San Chez Bistro, which is showing the work of a few artists AND serves delicious food. (And try the sangria. Do yourself a favor.)

Next question: do you like beer? Do you like seeing art that thinks outside the box? Do you think I'm kind of cool but someone with red hair, artistic talent, and the same genes would be even BETTER?

Still yes? Then check out 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, featured at San Chez Bistro. You'll love it.**

**Not guaranteed, because it's art. You can't guarantee art.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

We didn't even have a Prom Queen!

I started high school in the fall of 1998 and graduated in 2002. (Yes, this was a long time ago.) During that time, movie theaters were flooded with comedies about life in the American high was madness. Can't Hardly Wait, Never Been Kissed, 10 Things I Hate About You, She's All That, Drive Me Crazy, American Pie...see what I mean? I saw all those while I was in high school.

Today I rewatched 10 Things when it came on tv...and good lord. It's amazing I came out so well adjusted!

Not because they were bad movies...but because they were so misleading! That did NOT reflect my high school experience. Let's examine prom. Movies would lead me to believe that my prom would be filled with beautiful people doing a choreographed dance. It would be at some glamorous hotel! (Ok, fine, so that part was basically prom was in the ballroom of a hotel.) A famous ska band or maybe The Donnas would provide the soundtrack to our evening. There would be major drama and gossip and probably tears in the ladies' room! In the men's room, dreamy athletes would be making bets on who would get laid in the upstairs hotel room they'd managed to procure. In the end, we'd all end up with The Perfect Date and prom would end after we'd all accepted that our lives were changing but we still had each other. We would listen to some Britney and everyone would get what they deserved.

Now, don't get me wrong. My prom was fantastic. I adored my date, had a great dress, danced with my was a great night. But that's no thanks at all, really, to the movie industry! No one tried to teach us some stupid choreography. And I didn't see one single girl crying in the ladies' room. Not one!

Stupid movies.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Chicken! Christmas! Fun!

If you were to drive two hours north of me, you'd hit Frankenmuth, Michigan. The best way, I've found, to experience "Michigan's Little Bavaria" is to follow the directions I found on a flyer recently.
"Chicken! Christmas! Fun!"
This was what the flyer (and attached coupon!) promised. Ok. Seems wise to start with the family-style chicken dinner at the Bavarian Inn. Once sufficiently gorged on chicken, mashed potatoes, and noodles, you can check Chicken! off your t0-do list. Time for Christmas! Head to Bronner's...the largest Christmas store in the world. It's a veritable holiday wonderland, full of all the delights that Christmas holds...all year long.
love Christmas, clearly.)
By the time you've wandered the store, you've clearly completed the Christmas! part of your day, so check that off too.

If you cannot check Fun! off your list immediately thereafter, you did something wrong. Because it's more like an equation. "Chicken! + Christmas! = Fun!" It works every time, with no margin of error.

I would like to say, though, that the stuffing with the chicken dinner is the weakest link. It seems to be inconsistent--like they're still tinkering with the recipe. Bavarian Inn, I implore you to continue your tinkering. You'll get it right one day--it'll be able to proudly stand with the rest of your menu. Until then, it's holding its own. You just keep plugging away.