Yeah, I'm back.

Hello again, kids. I'm back from my European Adventure, as well as the bonus Chicago Airport Adventure that was thrown in on my way home. I got to spend eight hours there, due to cancelled flights, delayed flights, changed gates, and flying standby. However, I must say that it was a decent eight hours, all things considered. O'Hare is a fairly pleasant airport. Except for the high volume of kissing people. (Wtf?)
The trip itself was fantastic. Saw old friends, met some new ones, gave a little advice, ate chocolate, drank various things, and gave out my fair share of awkward hugs. Ok, fine--more than my fair share.
Anyway, this was just a quick post to let you know that I'll be back to giving advice and complaining about your problems. Until then, enjoy this photo of "Why Ireland is a Silly Place."

Additionally...

So the match.com ads are creepy. Period. BUT I have a website that is just as tacky, but not sketchy and pretty funny. Check out this site. I laughed out loud. Make sure you check out all the different options, too--he does different stuff!

Creep-tastic.com

Did you know that it's possible to feel violated by a pop-up ad? Because I didn't think so, but it totally is. Lately, I've been getting ads for match.com all over the place.
[Sidenote: It's not funny, match.com. I don't appreciate the gesture. I'm fine being single. Dammit.]
Their ads are just upsetting! Some of them are these little videos, and you think you're looking at a webcam. This (attractive?) guy (who you know is not the kind of guy trolling match.com) is "reading" the screen that is supposed to be your imagined profile and laughing at all the appropriate spots. (You know, that spot where you make it obvious that you're serious without being too serious; funny in the witty, smart kind of way.) Then he looks impressed at the appropriate spot. (When you tell potential suitors what you do for a living and what you're looking to do in the future.) Then he laughs some more, and starts to type a message. (Presumably, he's telling you he finds you just the right amount of serious, the best kind of humorous, very intelligent, and by the way sexy pic.)
I guess this ad isn't awful. It's tacky, sure, but it's not disturbing. THAT is another ad entirely. Which popped up the other day, as a matter of fact!
The text says you can use match.com to find local doctors. ('Oh, a doctor!,' you think to yourself. 'How lovely!') This guy (decidedly NOT a real doctor) is dressed in scrubs and a lab coat, holding a stethoscope and clipboard. He looks you up and down--no joke--appraisingly. He likes what he sees and listens to you talk about yourself. He laughs and smiles at you--Doctor Creepy McStalker likes you! Then he approaches. He checks your heart and your reflexes and writes some things on his chart. I'm sure it's something cheesy. Then he stares some more at your chest, before giving you another once-over.
I guess this is supposed to make me want a doctor boyfriend? And it'll lead me to believe I'll find him on their website? In theory, your idea works for me, match.com. But in reality, I just felt dirty, as if I was on the wrong side of internet porn.

Bonus: They have others, too! I was just assaulted by the musician/cowboy ad. I couldn't tell. He had a guitar and cowboy hat--it could've gone either way.



EDIT: I just got a NEW one! This guy was a rock star...and you know what? It was the same guy who was in the doctor ad! He stared me up and down (sketch...) before pulling out a guitar pick and playing me what, I'm sure, was a rockin' song. Just for me.
You know what? I don't think that guy is a doctor OR a musician.

Trash Picking

I know, I know...that sounds really gross. But I was. There. Get over it!
After the Relay for Life, I was helping pick up some of the trash that blew all over the place during our very windy 24 hours. It was, however, fruitful. Because I found a real gem, kids.


[Click on it to see a larger version...because this one really merits a close look.]
Some student at Edsel Ford High School drew this, and I must commend him or her. Well done! But the tale is a sad one, because somehow, illustrator and illustration were separated! The drawing was left to blow around and get caught against the fence, vulnerable to the elements. This is its own happy ending, though. Fear not, readers. It provided me some amusement while I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. So, if this picture was done by you, please step forward to receive all the appropriate accolades. Of which, I can assure you, there will be many.

The Ultimate.

I would like to state that despite the best efforts of my opposition, I basically rocked their faces off with my latest snowman endeavor. They left for a short holiday and returned to find THIS:

Yes, that'd be their upstairs bathroom window.

I need to find a different hobby...hiding stuff everywhere is becoming very time- (/life-) consuming. Although, I must say this is pretty enjoyable. I know, I promised you more posts, but I taught preschool all last week, which was fairly exhausting. However, the greatest thing ever did happen on Thursday. One of my students (who, it should be noted, is four years old) was working on a puzzle. He started singing his ABCs quietly to himself. Then he made a seamless transition into a chorus of "Smack That." I'm not terribly familiar with this song, so in case you're in the same boat, it IS as tacky as it sounds! Definitely not the kind of song you want your preschooler singing. But he's cute and little and not at a point in his comprehension of the English language (it's not his first) where he gets it, really. So I just kind of swallowed my laugh and asked how he was doing with the puzzle. He noticed my smile and asked if I liked that song. "Why YES, I love the Alphabet Song!" I exclaimed, hoping that distraction would work. He smiled and then started singing himself a little "Jack and Jill went up the hill..." Perfect. What an amazing job. :)

Fact.

It's well known that I don't like people. But I really, really HATE cancer. We're talking loathe, people. That's why I'm participating in my local American Cancer Society Relay for Life on May 5-6. I'm chaperoning a team of middle and high school girls during the 24 hour event.
If you want any information about it, please let me know. AND if you're in the Dearborn area on the 5th or 6th, you should definitely stop by--everyone is welcome! It'll be a great time--it sounds like even I'll have fun.

And now back to our regularly scheduled bitching.

It's just ridiculous.

I arrived at work the other morning to THIS.

I was subbing in the building my mom works in, and walked into my room. To see this. Standing in the doorway, I thought..."Well that's an odd coincidence.........."

Then I marched into Mom's room to unleash my wrath upon her. APPARENTLY this was a whole-family operation. [Except my sister, god love her.]

You try explaining a new snowman in the classroom to a bunch of 4 year olds in April!

In other news, I'm taking a vacation this week. I'm visiting the college friends on Tuesday, so this will probably be on hold until I return on Sunday. This means that if you need some advice ASAP, you can email. I won't be posting until I return, though!

Hope you had an enjoyable Easter, if that's your kind of thing. I ate a lot of chocolate, so you know it's my kind of thing.

Later kids!