Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Obvious Relationship Advice, Part One

A friend called me late the other night, admitting to slight drunkenness and the need to talk. He started his weekend by ending things with a woman and ended it by calling me. Quick to tell me he didn't regret what he did, he said it was weird that she wasn't around. This is a guy who isn't looking for anything serious. He's honest about it and he got out when it was clear that they wanted different things. (I applaud this.) During our chat, he commented that it was weird that he missed having her around. (But really, more missing having someone around than having her around. Huge difference.)

This brings me to something we'd both seen making its way around the internet.

After you stop giggling, because farts, I'm thinking you'll agree with us that it's accurate. I know what I'm about to say is going to sound really silly but please remember that this isn't one of those Your Relationship Broke (But It Didn't Break You!) sort of self help books. Bear with me: I really think that meeting someone really awesome can lead to reevaluating what kind of relationship you're looking for. Now personally, I'm much more comfortable with casual, non-committal relationships where no one feels any pressure to discuss their feelings. Then I met The Astronaut and I was ok with some feelings talk, because I wanted to be with him. (Considering how that one turned out...no more feelings talk for this girl! Lesson learned.) I told my friend that by keeping everything in his life separate from this girl, he obviously wasn't looking to make it serious. We know what it means when we never meet your friends, guys. We know what it means when we're not facebook friends. How serious can that relationship be?

Ultimately, your relationship should not feel like a chore. Sure, you have to put in effort to make it work, but it shouldn't feel like some shitty obligation. It's not an office baby shower, guys--that is a shitty obligation. But apparently relationships are something you're supposed to enjoy. If you like talking about feelings,  that is. Friends in successful relationships...let me know...it's supposed to be fun, right? Back me up here.

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