Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Surviving a Wedding: Fifteen Easy Steps

I spent a long weekend in New York recently for SP's wedding. It was my second wedding of the season, and more are on the horizon. Since I'm sure many of you are in the same position, here are my tips for surviving a wedding.

One: Put on your war paint (er...nail polish) and fly to wedding. Caffeinated. 

 Two: Bachelorette brunch! 

Three: Pick the best seat at the table. 

Four: Brave the elements to complete bachelorette adventures.

Five: Put on your matching bachelorette t-shirts at the table. Act confident that surrounding tables find you just as charming as your find yourselves. Who cares, this is about the bride--not them. 

Six: Toast the bride! Several times. Extra toasts and high fives when you learn that the bride is NOT doing a bouquet toss.

Seven: Head to wedding venue, relieved that the rain you previously endured has shown no sign of returning.

Eight: Collect your wedding accessories. Note that the rice you'll throw later is candy! 

Nine: Watch your friend get married. Mentally thank her for the short ceremony and for leaving out any "love is patient, love is kind" nonsense. Also mentally thank her for picking an awesome husband. 

Ten: Hello, gorgeous.

 Eleven: "All couples to the dance floor." 

Twelve: Contemplate how much of the table setting you could stuff into your clutch, out of sheer curiosity. Finish your wine and introduce yourself to tablemates instead. 

Thirteen: Dance. Dance a lot. 

Fourteen: Learn from the groom that the candy from the ceremony is edible, but actually bird food. 

Fifteen: Head home. Clean wedding accessories out of your purse. Remember that you have the best friends ever, even if they're all getting married. 

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