Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Should have read the fine print.

Do you all have backup spouses? You know, if neither of us is married by the time we're....? It's hardly a new thing--the cast of Friends were arguing over backup spouses while I was in middle school. (By the way, those characters were approximately the same age I am now. Don't think about it too hard, but my late 20s don't feel the way I was led to believe.They attended WAY fewer weddings, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and baby showers than I find myself attending. They also had a lot more casual sex. OH TV DREAMLAND...) A few of my friends have them, although I've noticed a distinct lack of consistency when it comes to the ground rules. 

We found ourselves in this conversation last night when I noted that the groom of an upcoming wedding offered to be my 2nd backup husband. 

One of the guys has an agreement to marry a friend of his if they're both single at 30. For me this is frighteningly close. I made my agreement when I was 20, and we agreed to get married if we're both 35 and single. This is, of course, biting me in the ass, as that man has been in a happy relationship for...years. I can't even remember how many. YEARS. This groom offered to be my 2nd backup with we were both 34 and single. I didn't take him up on the offer, which is just as well as I'm attending his wedding. 

I'm too old, I suspect, to find yet another backup. At this point it's basically admitting that I won't be able to find a husband the old fashioned way (internet dating, clearly) so I have to Rumpelstiltskin one to fruition. I should have stipulated that in the event my backup gets married, he is required to find me a replacement. Is it too late for that? Whoa, I think we just got on the train to Sad Town. Let's turn around. 

Back to my original question. Do you have a plan in place? What are your terms and conditions? 


JellyBeans said...

Marriage was never on my "to do" list, so to speak. I was looking forward to being a Couger or Mrs. Robinson if I was still single when I got older.

Amanda said...

I like that plan! I might adopt it.

Most of my friends who made these plans made them when they were still in high school or soon after. I think that's when you're still basing a lot of plans on convention but not terribly concerned whether it comes to life or not.

JellyBeans said...

Yeah, you can't really count on the plans you made in high school. I remember in high school, a friend "gave his soul" to someone he dated for like 2 days. I think they broke up by the next weekend. Now, the poor fellow has no soul and no girlfriend :(

Amanda said...

Hahahaha! I don't suppose they make a greeting card for "sorry you lost your soul"...