I've rewritten this at least three times. I've wandered around the internet as I do it, because I need the distraction. It's the longest blog post ever, time-wise.
I know I've been pretty absent around here lately. I'm sorry, because I feel like we have a certain vibe going, like this is a clubhouse where you tell me your problems and I tell you about mine. But right now...I can't. I can't talk about it. There's stuff going on in my life that's...hard. And shitty. But I'll get through it. And when I'm through it, maybe we can talk more. There's a lot to say. But I set myself certain rules when I started writing here, and also it's too hard to talk about. Even telling you that much is difficult.
I keep myself busy. I like having projects and sorting through chaos. The busier a day is, the less time I have for meandering thoughts--the enemy right now. Nighttime is dangerous, when I lay down to sleep. My hands and brain aren't occupied, so other thoughts sneak in. I haven't been sleeping well.
Give it time. Wedding season is approaching, so there will be LOTS to talk about there. And eventually I'll figure my life out and we can get back to normal. There won't be this big off-limits topic anymore and we can all move on.
For now, I'll leave you with this: I got a message on tumblr from some blog with "booty" in the name. It called me adorable and asked if I would submit a picture for their blog. Success!