A few minutes ago, I walked into my room (late night, yes) and noticed Big Ugly Bug on my ceiling.
"Dammit," I say to no one in particular. It's in the corner and I can't easily get to it to use any of my standard methods of removal. (Squishing and trapping being the two most common.) There's no one around to handle this situation for me. (Damn you, men! Why are you never around when I can actually use you??) Well, I don't know what Big Ugly Bug is. I should find out. Can't get too close, because I might find out the hard way if Big Ugly Bug is Jumping Big Ugly Bug. I don't want anything eating my face off tonight, thanks.
What to do?
I know! I'll use my generation's version of binoculars: digital camera. I take a quick photo of BUB, then zoom in as close as I can. Gross! Even worse than I imagined. It's unidentifiable. I put the camera down to regroup. Glancing back up again, it seems smaller. That's weird....
Another picture. Zoom in...ohhh, good. It wasn't one huge bug, but rather two regular sized flies. Sigh of relief!
WAIT. First picture. Second picture. It's like a flip-book. (The worst flip-book ever made.) They were on top of each other! OH MY GOD it was fly sex. I PHOTOGRAPHED (and scrutinized) INSECT PORN.
Gross.
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