A few weeks ago, I wrote about limiting my interaction with some people in my life. And I stand behind what I wrote. I feel good about my decision and for the most part, I feel good about the results.
But now I'm struggling with that idea in a different way--from the other side. What do you do when someone in your life seems to be pulling back? When I do that, it's for my own mental and emotional well-being. I like to think that the people I care about would understand my reasons. And so of course, I want what's best for them. If they need quiet or space, or just space from me, I respect that.
In theory. Putting that into practice is another creature entirely--and that's the step I'm having a hard time reconciling. It's very strange, to feel like someone is pulling away from you. It makes you self-conscious about contacting them. When did I email her last? Did she write back that time? What if he feels like I'm smothering him? Maybe work is just crazy right now and she doesn't have time to chat. Or maybe he really doesn't want to talk. It doesn't matter who it is--a friend, your family, the guy across from you at work--you rethink simple interactions until you're annoyed with yourself. Then you start to think, am I doing this same thing to someone else? And do they feel shitty about it?
Ultimately, I think you can't worry too much. You have to take care of yourself and when you're on the other side, you owe it to your loved ones to allow them the same.** Does it suck? Yeah, kind of. But people have to take care of themselves.
So what do you do? Do you step back and give them space and hope they'll come to you when they are ready? Do you face the issue head on and ask if everything is ok? Do you blog about it on the internet and hope that one of your readers has an idea? (LIKE A WELL ADJUSTED ADULT.)
Logically, I know this is about trusting in my relationships and the people in my life and having faith that they'll return to me when they can. But that is so hard.
What do you think, readers?
**Unless you're distancing yourself from the person you're IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH. In that case you owe them some kind of explanation. It really sucks for them if you just peace out and give yourself space. Not that I have any idea what that feels like.