Saturday, May 08, 2010


Gentlemen of the world:

It is in no way appropriate or sexy for you to gesture for me to join you from across the room. When I shake my head no, it's even less appropriate for you to continue and then shout about it. "I'm sitting between two friends in this booth, and also we're having a conversation, thanks," will be my next line/gesture. At that point, despite what you may think, there's no need to suggest that I get out of the booth and walk to you. If you are really so interested in talking to me, you can walk 8 damn feet to me.
Should you persist in interrupting me when I'm so clearly not interested and find yourself face to face with me, I'm ready with my "Thanks but no thanks now please stop being a creeper." Maybe you didn't get the hint, but my friends are super ready to go back to enjoying our evening.
This is not an invitation to wrap your arms around me and suggest that I might be your girlfriend. No, I'm not. I'm positive I'm not. I will squirm my way out and make up a boyfriend. I will thank you for the compliments, but turn down your offer to take me out. I will confirm that no, you cannot take me anywhere. (Do these lines actually work??)

Should you be the friend of a gentleman exhibiting this behavior, it is NOT PERMISSIBLE to then attempt to put your arms around me. I will, in fact, run to my watchful friends and we will anxiously wait for your departure.

Thank you.

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