The prize-winning, tie-breaking line from R's bachelorette party last week:
(In response to "You're at the grocery store picking up some fruit. You reach for a Golden Delicious apple and a handsome man reaches for the same one. Your hands meet and you say...")
"If it turns out to be poisoned, would you kiss me awake?"
Team Amanda broke the mold, veering away from the dirty and overtly sexual. It was the only way to beat our competitors. AND IT WORKED. I have the prize to prove it.
In other news, we're having another spirit week next week at work and Monday is Jersey Day. We're assuming they mean a sports jersey, right? Not The Jersey Shore? (I can run out for a bump-it if that's the case.)
9 comments:
Yes, it worked on other women.
As a man, it would not have worked on me. Good thing I wasn't judging because Team Amanda takes home the Razzie!
Emily and Amy are the clear winners in my book. For their prize, they can take home the knowledge that some Anonymous Male posting on the interweb says they are winners, and I present them with these Imaginary Flirtation Awards. (Passes out awards). Now be careful with those, they break easy.
"They break easy"?? Like my heart.
Are you suggesting, Anonymous, that you wouldn't favor me with your attention? I wouldn't get the chance to fantasize about being Mrs. Anonymous Male, shrouded in self-imposed mystery for the rest of my life? How can I go on, knowing that I won't spend hours waiting for your lame text messages and disappointing dates? Fate is a cruel mistress.
Thank heavens you've arrived to shower my friends and readers with your praise. They've been just dying for someone like you to come along and validate them.
Also, I guess I didn't realize that my bachelorette party game pickup line had been turned into a movie. That's the only way I can think that I would win a film award. Thanks for the heads up! You've been super helpful.
I'm not suggesting anything.
And, yes, a Razzie. Didn't you borrow the idea from the subplot of b-movie To Catch a Widower?
...sure. To Catch a Widower. Because that sounds like a dream scenario.
Seriously? A young girl is awakened with a kiss after eating a poisoned apple? And To Catch a Widower is the best you can come up with?
You're saying you got the idea somewhere else? Sleeping Beauty perhaps? So, yes, seriously, that concept has only been used how many different ways in movies (and books)? Then you try and hide the fact it's never been done before? Trying to pass it off as original? Shame on you.
I cannot be expected to reason with a man who does not know the difference between Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.
However since you can't read, apparently, allow me to clarify. I never said it was original. I'm saying it alludes to a classic fairytale. I never claimed to invent the poisoned apple plot device.
That's alright, I'm not offended you've taken everything I've written literally and not metaphorically.
Oh good. Because I definitely lose sleep at night if there's the possibility I've offended some random internet troll sitting behind a veil of anonymity.
Insults and name calling. Are you trying to woo me? It's not working.
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