My gram would have hated to see this on the internet, but she never used the internet. (In fact, she once read a newspaper article about internet porn and checked that I wasn't "being exposed to pornography.")
"You know what I really hate? *Wait for reply.* People who leave their shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot. And you just know that those people would be the first to scream bloody murder *point finger accusingly for emphasis* if their car got hit by one! *Wait for murmur of agreement...there it is.*"