Sunday, September 16, 2007


Hey Kanye West...can I talk to you for a second? Great.

You're what, 30 years old? Even by our most liberal definitions of the word, that makes you an adult. As far as I know you're not even living with Mom anymore! So what's up with the damn hissy fit?
You're hugely famous and people adore you. Your life basically rocks. And you're going to go all over the popular media and whine about MTV not inviting you to open the VMAs this year? Really? Are you kidding me?
I mean, first of all...I'm not even sure your new song is as great as you like to think. You took an awesome Daft Punk song (possibly my favorite) and bastardized it! I thought I liked it...but then I realized that every single time it comes on, I tune your voice out and focus on Daft Punk. So I guess I don't really like it, other than the side effect of getting to hear it on the radio pretty frequently. I wouldn't invite you to perform on the main stage either.
But rest easy, I'm sure MTV considered it. Which brings me to my second point. BRITNEY. Unlike every other person on the planet right now, I won't waste our time sharing my opinion of her performance. (But I would like to say that anyone calling her fat ought to be beaten. That, boys and girls, is not fat.) But I suspect that when MTV execs were flipping a coin over you or Justin Timberlake and Britney called them up and said she wanted to do it, all debate stopped. And I don't blame them. Look at the options--either Britney was going to kick some ass and stage a comeback to beat all comebacks and everyone would thank MTV for bringing her back...or she was going to get on stage and we'd see a 5 minute trainwreck and everyone would still be talking about MTV. (Will not share which option I think Brit chose.) Do you see what I'm getting at here? IT WAS WIN-WIN FOR MTV!
Can you really blame them? Once Britney entered the mix, you didn't stand a chance.

Also, grow the hell up.

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