Saturday, November 09, 2013

Maturity is hard.

I really try to be a fully formed adult. I'm pretty good about buying fabric softener and picking up my prescriptions before it's an emergency. I can always find a bandaid and almost never wear my onesie in public. (When I do, it is for a very good reason.) I might finally know what I want to be when I grow up and I'm part of a book club. That's all very adult stuff, wouldn't you agree? 

Part of this grown up I'm almost 30 attitude has been letting go of anger towards my ex. I mean, it'll never be ok and I'll never understand it, but directing my anger 24/7 at just one person was exhausting--and quite frankly it was limiting. There are so many things to be angry about! is hard to be mature. 

Between all the Halloween merchandise that just left stores and the Christmas explosion that has just arrived, shopping has been particularly difficult. My ex works for a pretty well-known company. And I know what products they make and I have a pretty good idea what products he himself had a hand in. With all that knowledge, it's very tempting to have a not-so-adult moment and turn all the packaging backwards. Or hide them. Or sweep the lot of it off the shelf in a fit of rage. Most of the time I roll my eyes and bite my tongue to keep from telling other shoppers to take their business elsewhere, to companies that do not employ my ex. It wouldn't really do any good--the company would still make money and then the Target employees would hate me. No, that method would only earn me a reputation as Pathetic Jilted Lover and that's so clich├ęd. I can do better than that. 

I mean, if I'm going to go that route, I'll definitely put on my onesie first. 

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