In which I gross myself out a little.

I don't always feel very optimistic. I think about the state of our education system, I think about students living in real fear that someone will come to harm them and the most I can hope for is the ability to keep them safe. I look around and I'm just disappointed by humanity. I know, I know, it's called Bitter Amanda, right? This shouldn't be a surprise.

There's one thing that stops me in that train of thought, makes me think we'll be ok. It's such a silly thing, but it's always made me feel a little better about people. It happened last night, at the P!nk concert. (She is amazing, you guys. Her entire stage show was fantastic, and damn is she awesome.) I'm not talking about sitting in traffic trying to get to the parking lot, with my friend yelling out her window that people needed to get acquainted with acceleration. And not the women next to us giving a running commentary of every single thing happening on stage. It definitely wasn't the over-accessorized women in front of us, either. (Seriously, there must have been a sale at Claire's. And also their boobs were hanging out of bedazzled tops. In case you were curious. One of them tried to pole dance on a barrier, and I can't unsee that.)

It was when I could hear the whole arena singing along. Something about a group singing along together gives me a sense of calm the way not much else does. Maybe it's some silly notion about being connected by something. I don't know. I remember one of the first days that I spent at summer camp, in 2007. (You know I do that, right? It's why I disappear for a month every summer. I get to hang out with teenagers and gossip and advise them and sleep too little and drink to much coffee. It's awesome.) These kids had just met two days prior, and we were gathered around one night while someone played the guitar. They started playing Imagine, and it did me in. I stood back in awe while their voices blended and I thought, yes, this is why I'm doing this. This moment right here.

During several songs last night, it was quiet enough that you could hear the whole arena singing too. Something about it, in hearing thousands of strangers sing the same words...it's just like...ok. I have no idea what's going on outside of this building, and I know that everyone carried their own problems in here tonight and everyone will walk out and have to deal with them..but right now, here we are, singing the same words and being in this moment. 


Jesus, who let the emotional woman in here today? Control yourself, ugh.