Sunday, April 19, 2009

The ponytail should have been a clue...

A couple days ago, I was walking around Barnes and Noble. I walked past a group of armchairs, where a middle-aged man, a girl of maybe 11, and a single** man roughly my age sat with books. The middle-aged man, presumably the girl's father, was reading, and the girl had a copy of Twilight poised to read, but was being interrupted. By Ponytail, her new friend in the other chair. This ass was trying to tell her why Twilight is ridiculous. (Are you kidding me??) He was going on and on and on about what a travesty it is that Twilight doesn't explain vampire mythology. And does it even explain why they like blood?? No, it doesn't. Do you know why, he asked the girl? " tastes good?" Oh, wrong answer! Then he was off and running. She was getting a History of Vampires with a side helping of Edward Cullen Belittling. I sort of wandered around in earshot, trying frantically to think of a plan to get her out that didn't look like...well, a Plan to Get Her Out. You know. Of the sketchy "I drive a van" variety. I heard him say something about Vlad the Impaler and she caught my eye. I tried to smile reassuringly, but I feel certain it did little to alleviate her pain. OH AND THEN. He turned around to rail on the movie. And dragged Dad into the conversation. It was revealed to me that Ponytail but No Shampoo didn't see the movie, but "read some reviews." Which clearly meant he knew what he was talking about.
I could not think of a way to stop the madness. I wanted to tell him that she was a kid. And reading. Do you know how hard it is to get some kids to read?? If they'll read the adventures of Edward Cullen, Dreamy Vampire Boyfriend, then by all means hand them a freaking copy! When Harry Potter came out, it got kids reading. It was a gateway book. They finished that book and picked up more! If Twilight stands to be the predecessor for that, I'm all for it.

**I didn't ask for confirmation, of course. But I feel confident about this one.

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