Hey, Lady Gaga...
Heard your song today. And man, it sounds like you are having a great freaking time! Nothing like being out with some friends and hearing Your Song. It does make things seem better.
But, um...I'd like to respectfully disagree with your statement that it's "gonna be ok" if you just dance. Nothing wrong with dancing! This isn't Footloose or anything. But if you look at all the parts of your night, you're actually having what most people consider to be a pretty terrible night. Maybe you forgot. Allow me?
You can't remember where you are. Or where your keys are. Or your wallet. You can't see straight. And something about your top being inside out?
One of those, and you can still have a good time. Stuff happens! Come tomorrow, unfortunately, you're going to sound like a silly high school girl who partied this weekend once you start to hear about your night from bystanders. You know, the girls who get drunk and do things which are rather embarrassing and quite stupid, but insist that oh my god, they totally had a great time and wasn't that hilarious? Oh my god, I can't believe it!
There are certain things that dancing can't fix.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda
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