Thursday, July 24, 2008

Vicious lies.

Last night I was at a planning meeting for the annual KDB Melanoma Walk. This is our third year doing the walk, which was started in honor of a dear friend who lost her battle with cancer before our first event.
We discussed some somber topics at our meeting. Other than melanoma. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a serious problem. (In the year 2008, there will be over 62,000 new cases and over 8,000 deaths from melanoma. Scary. Sunscreen up, kiddos.) I’m talking about something different here. There has been a rumor going around the internet, and my friends cited it like real news. Here's the story: the CDC reported a 230% increase in herpes since 2007 among 17-21 year olds. A shocking figure, yes? The reason? Beer pong. People, a quick google search will reveal that this story is riduculous. A doctor would never, never suggest that "using the waterfall method" will keep you safer during a friendly game of pong! Of course beer pong is gross! Think about it! That ball goes on the ground and you just put it back in play! Some people do the rinse, but after a couple is it really doing you any good? (That'd be a no.) I hardly think we need the CDC telling us what we should already know--any game where basement debris or dirt or garage dustbunnies can get into the communal beer is, by its very nature, fairly disgusting.

BUT that does not change the facts. Beer pong is a delightful game, an American tradition like baseball and apple pie. People, stop slandering its good name!


Sean Thomas said...

Dear Amanda,

Shhhhh. As the original author of this article, I'm here to remind you should let people believe that satire is real news. It's more fun that way.

And if you want the source of the story, go to:

Remember, practice safe pong.

Amanda said...

Well, Sparky, just a quick observation about your comment. I can understand you wanting people to perpetuate this little farce you've got going. But if you were really concerned about it, you'd have sent me a private message rather than a comment for the whole internet to read. Kind of giving yourself away, huh?
Thanks for the tip, though. Solid advice.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

Anonymous said...

ummm is that a picture of my hand? in Cape Cod? playing for Team Abroad? it looks like it.

Amanda said...

That's my hand, actually! But yes, Cape Cod.


Anonymous said...

oui, model a.