Dear Secret Deodorant,
Yesterday, I threw an epic hissy fit in my local Target. I'm not kidding--my mother walked away while my sister attempted to bring me down from my ledge. I was not having any of that. I am 24 years old, Secret. It is no longer socially acceptable for this to happen! Do you know why this happened?
Because of you, that's why.
Deodorant is one of those very important items in a girl's life that she doesn't mess around with. Like tampons and face wash. You search and search and search for the perfect one...and when you find it, you do not leave it. So imagine my surprise when I couldn't find my usual deodorant at CVS last week. Ah well, I figured, it's probably just out of stock. But yesterday at Target, I could no longer live in denial. If Target didn't have what I was looking for, in any scent at all, that was no fluke.
You discontinued it, didn't you?? With no warning whatsoever, you ripped it off the shelves and left me to fend for myself. You are lucky that I am not desperate for a new one yet, because if I was completely out, things would have gotten ugly.
I seriously hope that whatever new thing you've released, with its pseudo-scientific words and myriad promises, works out. Otherwise, you'll be hearing from me.