"I'm gonna put you on hold one more time."

Tonight I discovered what it would feel like to be in Hell.
(I have to tell you...it was so much worse than I had anticipated! I mean, I know what you're thinking. It's HELL, it's not supposed to be fun. But like I said--so. much. worse.)

After installing some programs on my computer, I had to call tech support. *scary organ music* I spent two hours on the phone, waiting and waiting and waiting because somehow, my computer came up with a problem that has never been seen before. And while she looked up yet another potential fix seventy-three or so times, I sat waiting, listening to horrible synthesized keyboard jazz on the edge of my chair since the phone cord only reaches so far and I was too stupid to think about the cordless phone. Meanwhile, my father, who worries endlessly about the computer, sat there slowly losing his mind, getting more and more frustrated, asking me questions every 6.7 seconds while I was trying to listen to the poor woman who took my call! After roughly an hour of zero progress, he began pacing the small computer area. Looking through every computer disc and manual we own, which totals somewhere in the low thousands, since we don't throw things away when we should and then forget which printer is the one we got rid of and which one is the one we actually use so let's just keep both CDs and books just in case. Since that was too simple, we reached the highlight of the night--Dad Wants One Specific Manual And Can't Find It So Let's Throw Others And Yell Upstairs To Mom Because She Might Know Where It Is Even Though She Spends Maybe 1.3 Minutes On The Computer Daily And Amanda Is On The Goddamn Phone Right Next To You.

(Yes, that did merit capital letters. It was very important--the highlight! Of the night!)

In the end, my problem isn't even with the company I called. It's someone entirely different! And you can bet your ass I am not volunteering to call about it. I'll be too busy picking up the habits of going to church and praying--because if Hell is anything like tonight, no thank you.