Monday, December 27, 2010

Weddings and whatnot.

So we all know I'm not a big fan of weddings, yes? (This is despite the fact that I'm pretty much a career bridesmaid at this point in my life.) Weddings are all about a lot of stuff that I find...irritating. They're basically one big public display of affection.
I'm less annoyed by marriage itself, if one can find someone tolerable enough to spend a lifetime with. Which is the part that becomes most problematic. But for people who find someone to settle for? I'm all for it! Do your thing. (And apparently I'm happy to stand up in your wedding.)

As you might have heard, Hugh Hefner is engaged. That's. Fine. I guess. Hugh, you're an adult and your ladyfriend tells you she's over 18 and that's good enough. I'm sure that once she picks slutty bridesmaid dresses for 15 blonde friends and moves her Barbie Dream House into the main bedroom at the mansion, you'll have 3-5 really happy years together. And then you'll get a timely divorce so she can move on and find a legitimate relationship.
But don't think, Hugh, that I'm forgetting about Holly. I watched multiple seasons of Girls Next Door and watched Holly devote herself to your relationship while she not-so-secretly hoped you'd marry her. Which you never did. You were Classic Male and Weren't Looking to Get Married. You never deserved her. She had visions of babies and marriage and A Life Together. Say what you want about Playboy bunnies but nobody deserves to be the only one invested in a relationship. I'm glad Holly got out.

I don't have a clever segue here and in fact was just telling Twin I'd have to throw in an awkward transition. Because that's what my seven readers have come to expect around here, dammit!

Not long ago, I was having a casual conversation with someone, probably about something boring like the weather or my job. This person ended up letting me know how they felt about gay marriage. I don't know how the conversation got there, but the moral here is that this person was pretty much 100% against gay marriage. They told me it was offensive to the sanctity of marriage. I'm going to leave this other person out of it now. Let's just say that I do not agree.
I would like to know when we as a population are going to stop assuming every straight marriage is a sacred thing. Hugh Hefner is just a very public example of something that happens in this country all too often--marriage as a joke. It is to this generation what dating was to previous generations. Something you do that can easily be undone if things don't go as you'd like.

And there's sanctity in that?

Supporting gay marriage does not mean you personally want in on that. (I certainly wouldn't want to marry a woman...they're crazy. At least men are a kind of crazy I can deal with. But plenty of women would like to, and good for them.) When I say I support gay marriage, I support the idea that every person gets to choose who to love and have the freedom to commit on any level they want. Being in a successful relationship has nothing to do with gender. It has to do with love, lowering your standards, and ignoring the nagging feeling that you're making a mistake.

So sure. Let Hugh Hefner and Miss December get married. I wish them luck. But let's not pretend that their marriage will be automatically successful because it's between one man and one woman.


moxie girl said...

A (female) friend of mine once said that all men are idiots and all women are insane. I think she has a point (although I like to think I'm the best kind of insane :)

Kidding aside, I couldn't agree more. I had a similar thought after some joke of a Hollywood marriage was announced, then shortly after was broken up. Sanctity my ass.

Amanda said...

I think your friend might be on to something with that...