Thursday, April 12, 2012

Feels like home.

My Smith friends make me feel the most like myself. It's like I'm the best version of myself when they're around. Maybe it's because my Smith years were the time when I figured a lot out. Maybe it's because they endured years of me in sweats and they love my anyway. Maybe it's because they know too many secrets. Who knows? 
Friends from other areas of my life raise the bar as well--don't get me wrong. I have to step up my game in different ways and I love that about my friends--all of them. I love having friends who challenge me. How boring it would be otherwise...
I'm currently in DC, visiting some of those fabulous ladies. I'm currently forcing myself to get done the work I put off earlier this week, while they are at work and I have time. When I arrived last night and sat with them, drinking wine and telling stories...I felt whole again. The piece of me that I never realize is missing was back. It happens, without fail, when I'm with Smithies. 
Maybe it's because I'm with them and feeling normal...but last night I was able to vocalize the stuff about work, about life, that's been rolling around in my brain, looking for words. I'm not ready to make a blog announcement or anything, but I'm ready for a change. I've been working in the same place for 5 years and for me that's a long time, for anything. I haven't challenged myself on a big scale in a long time. The scary stuff that makes my heart skip...I used to make myself do that. I was terrified when I got to college and didn't know a single person. I was nauseous when I got ready to travel abroad by myself for 9 months. But those were the best choices I've ever made. And I've let myself get really safe and comfortable. Those are great feelings...but at what point does comfortable become stagnant? Boring? 

Quite a question. But if anyone can help me figure it's Smithies. 

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