Dear Bloomington Indiana,
You're a fairly large city. 70,000 people. Well done. You've got yourself a nice university, with 40,000 students, I hear? 7th largest city in Indiana. That's right, I googled your ass. With good reason. My BFF is a grad student at your university. And I'd like to visit her. She's pretty bitter right now, and there is no way I can pass up the opportunity to share in this time. She has started swearing, even! It took me 5 years to corrupt her this much, and I would like to witness the fruits of my labor. So I figured it'd be easy enough, being a large city AND home to a college campus--and therefore home to college students wanting to get home. I've done the college town thing; I know how it is. I was 2 minutes from a bus station, 20 from a train station, and 45 from an airport. Dammit, getting to a boat wouldn't have been this hard!
So please help me out: why is it that it's PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to get myself to Bloomington unless I drive, which I won't?