Downloading it as we speak.

I love Christmas music. This might seem odd, but I can't help myself. I love the classics, but also rejoice at the new and quirky releases. Jack Johnson changed my whole opinion about Rudolph, and Everclear singing "Santa Baby" is worth hearing no matter what holiday you celebrate.

Each year I search tirelessly for new music to add to my collection, which I would put into rotation sometime around Labor Day if it wasn't considered entirely eccentric. I like to check out the suggestions that itunes and amazon.com have for me. Many a young pop star has covered a holiday classic. But nothing--nothing--could match my joy at the following:

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson- "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

My jaw dropped. I can only assume that this song was recorded when they were in love, with little hearts and stars pouring out of them when they were together. It's a natural choice: two famous pop stars who married young so they could sleep together (oh, and because they loved each other) sing a holiday duet between a man and a woman on some sort of date. (My personal feelings for this song will remain unspoken.) It had to have been a brilliant idea. Everyone was excited! It'll sell countless copies! Record it!

Aaaaand then they got a divorce. Ouch. That's painful. And it's not even taking into account the fact that they have a television show devoted to their marriage, which anyone can watch on DVD whenever they want! (Guessing Nick and Jess do not indulge?) But this! Is so! Much better! It hides itself for most of the year. A little holiday surprise, if you will. It's one of those things that you forget about since you don't see it all the time. This song is packed away in the attic with the Christmas decorations and only gets hauled out after Thanksgiving. Unpacking the strings of lights and boxes of ornaments, you would find this song at the bottom of a trunk. 'Oh. Hey there. Um...this is awkward. Should we bring this out?...No. Maybe not. Nevermind. Hm.'


Awk.Ward.

Evil.

There is nothing quite so satisfying as watching a slightly obnoxious student walk in with a horrible haircut.

Seriously??

At the movies tonight, I heard "a brand new song." Hey, the background sounds like Journey. Because "the Chipmunks are back with a new album." The cartoon chipmunks? As in Alvin, Simon, and Theodore? How can they have a new album? And Journey started playing. And as I wait to hear the familiar intro about a small-town girl, I realize that the Chipmunks are about to sing a cover of a Journey song.


True story.

Good beat, though.

Hey, Lady Gaga...

Heard your song today. And man, it sounds like you are having a great freaking time! Nothing like being out with some friends and hearing Your Song. It does make things seem better.

But, um...I'd like to respectfully disagree with your statement that it's "gonna be ok" if you just dance. Nothing wrong with dancing! This isn't Footloose or anything. But if you look at all the parts of your night, you're actually having what most people consider to be a pretty terrible night. Maybe you forgot. Allow me?

You can't remember where you are. Or where your keys are. Or your wallet. You can't see straight. And something about your top being inside out?

One of those, and you can still have a good time. Stuff happens! Come tomorrow, unfortunately, you're going to sound like a silly high school girl who partied this weekend once you start to hear about your night from bystanders. You know, the girls who get drunk and do things which are rather embarrassing and quite stupid, but insist that oh my god, they totally had a great time and wasn't that hilarious? Oh my god, I can't believe it!

There are certain things that dancing can't fix.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

Not-so-handyman.

To the guy who showed up at my door on Monday night:

Oh, hey, you're not someone I was expecting. I see you're holding a rake?

So, you're jetting off to New York and are trying to make some extra cash? That's cool...but do you think you're going about it the right way? I mean..it was a Monday. And yes, leaves do fall on a Monday. But I had all weekend to rake them up! Don't you think Thursday or Friday, when I've been at work all week and haven't considered the lawn, would be a better day?

Also, you're not as attractive or charming as your manner suggests you believe. Just FYI.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

Let's end the madness.

Hey, radio...

You know that Kid Rock song about summertime? The one that came out this summer? The one you played all summer long, because everyone was requesting it?

Um, it's fall. Can you stop playing it?

Thanks.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

Monumental night.

Tonight was a good night for this country.

Because over 100 million Americans went out and voted today. Because John McCain gave a gracious speech in the face of defeat. Because when his supporters booed at the mention of Barack Obama, Senator McCain encouraged them to stop, even though he probably felt a little bit like joining in. Because Barack Obama reminded everyone that his daughters earned a puppy from this campaign, win or lose. Because on Monday, I got to talk to 4th and 5th graders about the importance of voting. Because they were shocked to learn that some adults are allowed to vote but don't. Because both McCain and Obama reminded us that no matter who we voted for, we are one nation and no matter who is in the Oval Office, we are STILL one nation.

And they were both right.