Douchebags like needlepoint now?

Found myself in Jo-Ann Fabric this week, working on a project for work. As I wandered around, I noticed this book.

Now...I'm all for people winding down with a little embroidery project now and again. Whatever makes you happy. But...I can't help but wonder if Ed Hardy really needed to make this happen. Here, I made you a little graph to match my thoughts.

I don't know...maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the kids on Jersey Shore would like a decorative throw pillow or wall hanging but Ed Hardy does not yet make those. Maybe this is the perfect solution for them! What do you think?

All the single ladies.

I spent this past weekend in greater Chicago, celebrating the wedding of a lovely friend from high school.
The scavenger hunt during the bachelorette party on Thursday was fun. Despite temperatures in the 40s, Team Amanda (yes my teammate was also named Amanda; total score) cleaned up. The Cheesecake Factory did not disappoint (Godiva chocolate cheesecake, I'm looking at you). But the highlight?
Sketchy pickup lines. The scavenger hunt tiebreaker was to come up with the best pickup line for a given situation. The bride read it to us and chose the winner. Team Amanda. Clearly. Am I proud? Absolutely.
It turned into not only our whole evening, but our whole weekend. We took turns reading a situation and judging the best line. (Dear table of gentlemen next to us, I enjoyed watching your eyes bug out as you clearly eavesdropped. Solitarily yours, Bitter Amanda) After the bachelorette party itself, we were still texting each other lines and searching for the others during the reception when we thought of a good one.

So, allow me to share that first, tie-breaking pickup line situation. The one that started it all. Feel free to share your best lines for it!


Our tiebreaker: You're at the grocery store picking up some fruit. You reach for a Golden Delicious apple and a handsome man reaches for the same one. Your hands meet and you say...



PS: More wedding-related posts to follow.

A classic.

Alright. Not to go all When Harry Met Sally on you, but I have a question.

Is it possible to be friends with your ex?

I've debated it and mulled it over countless times. Obviously a great deal depends on the individual and the kind of relationship you had. I won't pretend that we can agree on a blanket rule here. But overall, is it possible to really and truly be friends with an ex?
I always say that I am friends with my exes. It's worn like a badge of honor while my friends hiss and spit at the mere thought of men they've dated. Ladies, I've done the impossible...we've broken up but maintained a friendship! Congratulate me! I will also freely admit that I say it with an air of superiority; a smugness that I felt I had earned by being the most freaking awesome ex-girlfriend in history. I'm like the "cool mom" but probably a lot more annoying.

However, recent developments have caused me to reexamine my relationships with exes under a harsher light. Ideally, being friends with an ex would consist of both parties maintaining the friend feelings while moving past any romantic notions, right? But what if one party hasn't moved past that? Does that count? And what about the exes you never really speak to? You know, the ones you catch up with on birthdays. It definitely fits into the friendship category...but is that a friendship to be proud of? (And by proud I mean obnoxiously boastful.)

I'll maintain that I am friends with my ex boyfriends. But it's not your average friendship--it gets a whole new category. It's different. Perhaps I will stop wearing my "World's Greatest Ex Girlfriend" t-shirt. (The back says, "No, seriously. Let's have a beer while you ask for my advice on your new girlfriend.")

So, kids, I ask you. Can you really and truly be friends with an ex?

Pop Quiz!

Alright kids, put on your thinking caps. Time for a Tuesday pop quiz! Read the following text message.

"I was wondering when you were gonna come play with me. Pool, that is."

The author of this text message:

A.) Is a friendly guy who wanted to make sure there was no confusion! That might have been embarrassing!

B.) Awkwardly informed you that he has a girlfriend prior to this text.

C.) Is a common douchebag who happens to possess just enough charm to be initially disarming.

D.) Is trying a little too hard but hopes maybe you guessed A. and will roll your eyes but smile and reply. And come play. ...Billiards, of course.





Pencils down!

**If you guessed B, C, and D, you're correct! If you guessed A then you clearly forgot about B and were fooled by C.